I have heard it far too many times. I WOULD NEVER HAVE AN ABORTION, BUT IT IS A RIGHT, AND I DON’T HAVE THE RIGHT TO TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ANOTHER WOMAN.
Too many women KNOW abortion is wrong and stand behind these words. And I know why. Crazy as it sounds, WE HAVE BEEN BRAINWASHED.
These words create unity, solidarity and sisterhood and that my friend is key to controlling any mass of people.
I remember the exact moment I broke free of this hold of unity, solidarity and sisterhood. I was sitting in my friend Pam’s backyard. I was swinging on a porch type swing with a man who would soon be my husband.
We were hitting the milestones to marriage and the topic of abortion came up. Well, me being the strong independent, brave, bold women that I have been made to believe I am, said, “I WOULD NEVER HAVE AN ABORTION, BUT IT IS A RIGHT, AND I DON’T HAVE THE RIGHT TO TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ANOTHER WOMAN.”
And my future husband being the advocate that he was born to be asked me, “Why? Why wouldn’t you have an abortion?” With all my self righteousness and dignity I replied, “Because I would never kill an unborn child, because I believe it is murder, because I believe life starts at conception, because I believe that a baby has a god given soul and a god given right to life. ” I smiled inside, because I knew we both held these beliefs and I knew he would be impressed with my divulgence.
My future husband gently asked, “If you knew down on the corner of this street there was a house hidden in the trees, where women, who no longer wanted their children, took them to be murdered and their bodies thrown into the trash, would you take a stand against it? Fight to close it?
I replied, “Of course.”
He asked, “What difference does it make to YOU if that child is inside or outside of the womb?”
Now lets take a moment here to differentiate.
A Pro Life women would never have said , “”I WOULD NEVER HAVE AN ABORTION, BUT IT IS A RIGHT, AND I DON’T HAVE THE RIGHT TO TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ANOTHER WOMAN.”
A Pro-Abortion women would say many things such as :it isn’t life (or a citizen in some cases) until it breathes” . It is only a clump of cells not a living breathing child, It is a woman’s right to “choose”. NOT YOUR BODY NOT YOUR BUSINESS etc etc etc.
But those who have somehow fallen in between these two polar opposites are justifying our moral resolve by explaining it away with the solidarity chant of “I WOULD NEVER HAVE AN ABORTION, BUT IT IS A RIGHT, AND I DON’T HAVE THE RIGHT TO TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ANOTHER WOMAN.”
Back to Pam’s backyard and the swing. After giving my “chant” as an answer to the question, ” He had asked, “What difference does it make to you if that child is inside or outside of the womb“? My heart opened up and I realized my chant did not match up with my belief and I was given the choice inside my heart and soul to take a stand right then. Is this a right or is this a moral issue? And then it happened.
POP: And just like that the ideology that has been forced upon me starting at a very young age by school programs, teachers, media, television and literature, it popped. And I was released from the solidarity, the unity and the sisterhood. THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE, based on my individual belief AND WHO I AM. There was no common thread between my beliefs and that of the “sisterhood” REGARDING ABORTION. Just this idea of abortion being a right.
The reason we don’t realize the very obvious lack of a common thread is because that mere thread is entwined with so many others.
As girls going through the public school system in the seventies eighties and nineties we have been told, ” You can do anything you set your mind to, there are no genders for jobs and we are strong and we are bold and we are brave. I am woman hear me roar. All of our influences were working hard to encourage our belief in ourselves and in changing the culture that in the past had not encouraged women. I understand why. To this day I agree.
If you would, A weave of common threads has been woven from our hearts to a new ideology of equality and fair treatment.
On the flip side of this encouragement we are told that these are our rights as women. We have the right to be educated, we have the right to choose our career, we have a right to say no, we have a right to our bodies. And again, I agree.
We are further taught that ” We have the right to decide if we want children”. I still agree. As well as ” It is your choice, it is your body”. Now this idea of “Its your choice, it is your body” is first introduced as a choice to have or not have children. You don’t have to be a mom to be a woman. Abortion isn’t mentioned until that thread is embedded in the soon to be completed feminist tapestry.
After all of this sisterhood, solidarity and unity is developing and weaved into our understanding of the world, into our hearts and into our ideology, after we have been taught about our rights, after we have been called to represent all women of society… this goofy little idea is slipped in…” It is your RIGHT to have an abortion AND you do not have the right to deny another woman of it. Just like you, she has a right to a career of her choice, she has a right to an education of her choice, she has a right to choose to say no, she has a right to choose not to have children AND NO ONE INCLUDING YOU HAS THE RIGHT TO DENY HER THOSE CHOICES INCLUDING THE RIGHT TO HAVE AN ABORTION, IT IS HER RIGHT.
As a young impressionable girl plagued by all of the external influences of course this makes sense, right? Who am I to tell others if they can or can not have children. It all make sense, right? Your body, the right to say no…no children. Well the only answer is abortion. (Note: In California that right starts at 13 without parental consent).
And my friend that is how you groom, train up and develop a generational army of feminists. That is how you remove one’s faith and understanding of God’s love from christian girls in public schools.
The boys, well they are just told, “NOT YOUR BODY NOT YOUR BUSINESS. ” “How dare you try to take away a women’s right to choose after YOUR GENDER, YOUR FATHERS AND GRANDFATHERS have oppressed the women who came before us into motherhood and smacks on the ass at the office. ”
And those boys are slowly silenced.
But at the end of that weave connecting the Ideology to the heart there is one thick thread that is held in place by the weave but does not connect to the heart. THE ABORTION THREAD. For every women who knows abortion is wrong, it tugs, it scratches and we ignore it.
PRO-Life women have yanked that tread out of the weave of their hearts and guess what? All of the other ideologies, rights and beliefs still hold true. The tapestry of feminism didn’t unravel.
The gals, that are like how I once was with all the preformed chants,( I WOULD NEVER HAVE AN ABORTION, BUT IT IS A RIGHT, yada yada yada and NOT YOUR BODY NOT YOUR BUSINESS. ) their hearts are tugged and scratched by that little thread but we know better than to pull a loose thread. And until we are brave enough to cut that sucker off we will flounder and struggle and give in to the allowance of abortion. WE the ones with the scratchy unattached threads will allow it to continue. We are the movement, we are what is allowing abortion to continue. And until someone comes along with a question that opens our hearts and demands a decision we will continue to allow others to lead our society down this terrible path.
It is my belief the reason the Pro-Choice movement is so strong is due to the numbers of women who fall between the Pro Life and Pro Abortion Ideologies. The churches have lost the cultural battle to the educational system and many would be Pro-lifers have fallen between the poles of life and death.
If PROCHOICE women were separated into two groups:
Group 1
Women who believed that they would never have an abortion because it is wrong for them BUT IT IS STILL A WOMAN’S RIGHT
Group 2
The women who believe that they SHOULD, WOULD and COULD have an abortion.
I believe if we could remove the “sisterhood” out of Group 1’s ideology and ALLOW these women to base their individual decisions solely on their individual beliefs of abortion and not that of the impact on the collective solidarity of the sisterhood we would see change.
When Group 1 is able to let go of the sisterhood ideology and open their eyes to defending their individual beliefs and the reasoning behind those beliefs along with the positive impact it would have on society we could be done discussing abortion.
The reason Group 1 struggles with leaving the ideology behind is due to the strong understanding that if you stand against them you stand against women, which is not at all factually true. It is the many threads that hold the ideology to the heart…not the abortion thread. My hope is that someday those who have fallen in between will yank that itchy scratchy thread of abortion and choose life.
If we want to change the abortion culture we have to speak up. We have to provide for struggling single mothers and pregnant women. We need to be their support system. And yes that includes help with food stamps, rent, child care and medical care, payment of a higher education and if needed parenting classes and job training. We have to be willing to be adoptive parents and foster parents. We have to be the alternative to abortion.
